A few humorous thoughts and quotes of the day

I live by this credo: Have a little laugh
at life and look around you for happiness
instead of sadness. Laughter has always
brought me out of unhappy situations.
Even in your darkest moment, you usually
can find something to laugh about if you
try hard enough.

Red Skelton

A CLOWN'S PRAYER

Lord, as I stumble though life, help me to
create more laughter than tears, dispense more
happiness than gloom, spread more cheer than despair.

Never let me become so indifferent that I will
fail to see the wonder in the eyes of a child or the
twinkle in the eyes of the aged.

Never let me forget that my total effort is to
cheer people, make them happy and forget at least for
a moment all the unpleasant things in their lives.

And, Lord, in my final moment, may I hear You
whisper: "When you made My people smile, you made
Me smile."

Author unknown

In this life we cannot do great
things. We can only do small things
with great love.

Mother Teresa

Life can be wildly tragic at times,
and I've had my share. But whatever
happens to you, you have to keep a
slightly comic attitude. In the final
analysis, (don't) forget to laugh.

Katherine Hepburn

Ten minutes of genuine belly laughter
had an anesthetic effect and would
give me at least two hours of pain-
free sleep.

Norman Cousins

On his death bed, Oscar Wilde looked
around the room and said: "This
wallpaper is terrible. One of us
has to go."

Oscar Wilde

Everything can be taken from a man but
one thing, the last of the human
freedoms - to chose one's attitude in
any given situation, even if only for
a few seconds.

Victor Frankl

Some pursue happiness -
others create it.

Author unknown

We don't laugh because we're
happy - we're happy because
we laugh.

William James

Psychological well-being - how can we get it?

We all have some idea what it is like to be psychologically happy and healthy, but it is tricky to get a better understanding of these concepts and the methods to achieve such happiness. The study of psychological well-being may give us some insights into this new area of psychology and help us get closer to attaining this level of optimal functioning.

Psychological well-being is usually tied to personal growth and the cultivation one's full potential. Studies have shown that people experiencing psychological well-being have a sense of autonomy, competence, self-acceptance, belongingness and purpose. It appears that living the "good life" is essential to authentic happiness. Personal attributes, however, do not appear to be enough. One also needs to have a sense of social connectedness and contribution. Having close personal relationships and a desire and ability to contribute to society can add significantly to our happiness and sense of well-being.

Several articles in the literature also point toward the need to reach beyond personal boundaries and to develop a "meaningful life". It appears that activities that contribute to personal pleasure, positive emotion, and "feeling good" is very important. Various forms of recreation and "having fun" appear to be very important in this area of personal growth.

Studies have also shown that positive emotion is related to longevity, a perception of good health in older adults, and a decreased loss of functional status and mobility. These findings point to the general finding that the creation of positive emotions has a direct, positive effect on one's physical health. Research has also shown that the presence of positive feelings can lead to improved immune function, such that we become more capable of fighting off infection. These findings strongly suggest that psychological well-being can be a powerful benefit to us both emotionally and physically. It is evident that we need to learn more in this fairly new area of research and investigation. Check back for further insights and information.

The important question now is: how does one develop this sense of happiness and well-being? Obviously if it was easy to achieve, we would all strive to do it. As this is a new area of research, and one that is difficult to study, there is presently no easy solution that I am aware of. One helpful approach, though, may be the development of positive self-esteem. Low self-esteem tends to destroy one's well-being and joy in life. A good resource for the development and improvement of one's self-esteem can be found here: CLICK HERE

What is it like to be psychologically healthy?

We all have some idea of what it's like to be emotionally or psychologically healthy, but what does it really mean? Is it being free of any significant emotional problems such as chronic anxiety, depression, drug addiction, or some more serious disorder? Does it have more to do with how well we function at work, in school, or with our personal relationships? Or, it is characterized by our coping skills, dealing effectively with high levels of stress or some other emergency situation?

The bulk of research in the fields of psychology and psychiatry have tended to focus on the description, possible causes, and effective treatment of mental and psychiatric disorders, rather than on the characteristics of psychological health. Therefore, I think it would be helpful to explore the characteristics and possible benefits of psychological healthiness.

The father of humanistic psychology, Abraham Maslow, was one of the first noted writers in psychology to focus on the positive side of our personality make-up. He was interested in studying happy, highly functioning individuals. In his landmark work, Toward a Psychology of Being (1968), he presents his "hierarchy of needs", whereby he proposes that certain human needs take precedence over others. For example, if you are hungry and thirsty, you tend to take care of the thirst first. Likewise, if you are very thirsty, but cannot breathe, you will attempt to get oxygen first. In his writings, he described several levels of human needs, in which one needs to satisfy one's lower needs (e.g., physiological needs) before he/ she can move onto developing the "basic" and finally "higher" needs. Once the physiological needs (e.g., oxygen, water, being active, rest, sleep), we can move onto the safety and security needs, love and belonging needs, and esteem needs (getting respect from others and self-respect).

Once these needs are all met or at least largely met, we can move onto the highest level, or, "self-actualization". Self-actualization is characterized by the desire to fulfill potentials, to "be all you can be". Maslow went on to say that it is a matter of becoming the most complete, the fullest "you". Of course, very few of us ever become fully self-actualized. He estimated that only about 2% of the world's population ever reach that level of development. Interestingly, Maslow's "hierarchy of needs" has tended to stand up quite well in the years since his original writings and his subsequent writings in the area of humanistic psychology and has had a dramatic affect on later theories of personality development. In subsequent articles on my blog, I will describe in more detail the qualities and characteristics common in self-actualized individuals, their unique personal qualities and appreciation of life.

If you would like to get started on your journey of self-growth, please refer to this resource, which presents a unique approach to happiness and improving self-esteem: CLICK HERE

The search for happiness & well-being

Are you as happy as you want to be? Do you wake up with a zest for living each day? Do you love going to work, wondering what the day will bring, excited to meet it's challenges? Or, are you like many of us, merely trying to make it through one day at a time, trying to cope with life's endless challenges and demands? Has life lost much of it's meaning? Are you satisfied with simply getting your paycheck and taking care of the bills and responsibilities?

The customs and traditions of many cultures and societies are fairly effective at handing down the traditions of a work ethic, religious/spiritual beliefs, family values, and personal responsibility, but most fall short at the job of teaching and/or facilitating happiness and a sense of well-being. As such, one may be at a loss of how to achieve such a true sense of well-being and happiness. One may ask, how do I do this? Do I simply read some self-help books, talk to friends and family, speak to my priest or minister, or, consult my family doctor? Another helpful approach may be to search out a good therapist. This approach may have drawbacks, though, as well.

The traditional focus of professionals in health and human services has been to concentrate on: 1)understanding and diagnosing psychological and/or physical problems, 2)the treatment of such conditions, and 3)conducting research into possible biochemical, physiological and genetic causes of such problems. Despite all of these efforts, however, the problems remain. Society tends to focus on removing problems, rather than facilitating healthy lifestyles, maximizing potential, and cultivating personal growth and the healthiness of our communities. In recent areas of thought and research, however, the focus is increasing shifting toward creating the optimal societal conditions for optimal growth.

The search for happiness and a sense of well-being starts with two basic approaches. First, is subjective well-being - the presence of positive mood and life satisfaction. Basically, one feels good more often than they feel bad. Second, is psychological well-being, which is tied to personal growth and the cultivation of one's full-potential. Individuals experiencing psychological well-being have a sense of autonomy, competence, and purpose. Research in the area also suggests a feeling of belongingness, self-acceptance, social connectedness, and contribution. Most anyone would aspire to understand and learn to develop such lofty attributes and personal characteristics. I will do my best to present much more information on this exciting area of exploration. Future articles in this blog will explore the myriad of benefits of this level of well-being and possible means of facilitating it's development.

If you are eager to get started on your own journey to personal growth, happiness and well-being, please refer to this resource: Click Here!

Are you a "yo-yo" dieter?

Numerous studies have shown that most people who try dieting (no matter what diet) initially lose weight but, in the long run, gain it back. Typically you will lose 5 to 10 percent of your body weight, which is very encouraging, but the majority of people will gain it back, plus more. Sustained weight loss, it has been found in a recent study at UCLA, is usually only found in a small percentage of people. This, of course, is not obvious to people as it may take 4-5 years before they regain all of the weight (and more).

After reviewing a number of long-term studies on dieting, researchers at UCLA recently found that several factors tend to bias many diet studies making them appear more effective than they really are. For one, many diet study participants self-report their weight by phone or mail, which tends to be both inaccurate and not impartial. Also, studies often have low follow-up rates. For example, if less than 50percent of the participants actually respond or show up for follow-up tests, there is a relatively small chance for the study to be accurate. It has been found that people who gain back large amounts of weight are generally unlikely to show up for follow-up testing.

Especially when research studies are sponsored by an entity (e.g., a diet company) that has a stake in the results, it is often difficult to find unbiased results. Furthermore, it seems unlikely that such companies would utilize sophisticated research methods such as double-blind studies, control groups, and the like. Recent review of past diet research finds that dieting is actually a consistent predictor of future weight gain. UCLA did review some studies which utilized control groups (i.e., a similar group of people who do not diet). In these studies, people in the control groups were found to either do better, the same, or slightly worse than those who were on a diet.

It is clear that "yo-yo dieting" is not good for us. Frequent ups and downs of our weight and waistlines can actually be quite harmful. According to the National Eating Disorders Association, such swings in our body weight have been linked to long-lasting negative impacts on metabolism. People may also experience physical problems such as decreased muscle strength and endurance, thining hair, loss of coordination, fainting, weakness, and decreased heart rate. Researchers at UCLA also point out that repeatedly losing and gaining weight has be linked to cardiovascular disease, stroke, diabetes and altered immune function.

It seems evident that dieting is not necessarily an effective method for any long-term weight loss. Most people who diet often want a "quick fix" - to lose a lot of weight quickly. This has been shown above to be a very questionable approach. My reading and research suggests that any true, long-term weight loss comes from making life-style changes such as regular exercise, a healthy diet, and attention to emotional and psychological health.

In my review of the literature on fitness and dieting, I have run across an excellent resource. If you want to combine an excellent exercise program with an effective diet, check this out: CLICK HERE

Does your diet always fail?

Dieting can be a real pain. We try to watch what we eat, check all the labels for fat content (saturated, unsaturated, and trans fat), sodium content, carbohydrate / sugar content, vitamins and minerals, etc. For those with various types of food allergies, things get a lot more complicated. Wow, who would want to eat out at a restaurant and then fear that the food or food preparation utencils may contain wheat, soy, peanuts, egg or milk products and any number of other things that may be harmful to them.

There are many reasons that your attempts at dieting may not have worked. Here are a few of them: 1) You don't exercise enough. It's likely more important to have a fit body than a slim body. Working out has many benefits. It burns excess calories, strengthens bone structure, builds muscle, and boosts our resting metabolic rate. It is good to note that a pound of muscle burns up to 35 calories a day, while a pound of fat burns only two. Exercising on a regular basis has the additional benefits of improving one's mood, building stamina, and opening up potential for meeting others that want to diet or exercise as well. If this results in developing a support system with your dieting endeavor, so much the better.

2) Advertising claims are often false. Despite the claims we often see in magazines, on the internet, and on TV, there is no magic wand that will magically melt pounds away. As a note of caution, the use of diet pills and appetite suppressants can be dangerous and should be carefully monitored. Even FDA approved "Alli" should be used as a supplement, not a replacement, for healthy eating and a regular workout regime.

3)You may have unrealistic expectations. Don't expect to lose more than 2-3 pounds per week. Anything more can be harmful to one's health. Just a few days of severe caloric restriction, which cleansing liquid diets often recommend, can cause your body to shift into starvation mode. If this happens, the body tends to save fat and to burn muscle - the exact opposite that you want!! Dieting, if too extreme, can often result in fatigue, apathy, lack of energy, depression, and even serious medical problems.

4)Do you keep a food journal? Writing down everything you eat gives you a much better idea of your daily caloric intake. Studies show that keeping a food journal can be a big help. A fairly large study (with 2,000 dieters) at Kaiser Permanente found that those utilizing a journal did much better with their diet than those who did not. Also, using a journal has the added benefit of naturally reducing your food intake. Many studies have shown this to be true in any number of psychological studies. Once a person starts to keep careful track of their behavior, it tends to change their behavior (e.g., with smoking, bouts of anger, alcohol consumption).

5)Too many sugar substitutes may be a problem. People often feel that junk food that contains sugar substitutes are fine (e.g., diet sodas, sugar free chocolate). Not true. They can be a problem as well, especially if used on a regular basis. For example, it's better to replace sodas with water or tea sweetened with lemon juice. With sweet cravings, it's better to have some fruit or a small portion of dark chocolate (which contains free-radical-fighting flavonoids).

In my research in the area, I have run across a resource that seems very helpful. I suggest you check this out: CLICK HERE

Eating - what role does it play in your life?

Losing weight and keeping it off can be very difficult indeed. Most who try usually experience many setbacks and disappointments. People who try and then try again and still fail will often ask "can I really do this?", or "is this really worth it?" Many people spend hundreds and even thousands of dollars trying to lose unsightly weight and finally decide it's too difficult, not worth it, or it's impossible!!

Eating and the preparation of our food is obviously one of the key elements of life. Before starting any kind of diet it would be good to consider what role food and the consumption of food plays in your life. Do you tend to overeat at times of added stress, when depressed, or, possibly when you are happy or having fun? Obviously, we tend to eat or drink more when having fun, at a social gathering, or partying on the weekend. But we may also gravitate toward food when lonely, spending time alone at home, watching TV, or for many other reasons. It might be a good idea to start keeping track of your food (and liquor) intake at these various times. This could give you some insight into your own personality, your emotional makeup, and how your emotions affect your eating habits.

For any of you who wonder if your emotions are significantly affecting your eating habits and would like to learn better control of your emotions, please refer to this resource: CLICK HERE This is an excellent resource that can be helpful in many areas of your life and can facilitate losing weight on a long-term basis. Now go ahead and have a great life!!

Best psychological movies

We all love to watch a good movie. Some of us love to be scared out of our wits, to be sent off into an amazing fantasy, to imagine that we are off on some exciting, heart-pounding adventure. Or, we may enjoy great family entertainment, a love story, or, to laugh outloud at a hillarious comedy!! Since I also enjoy a good movie and being sent far away from the worries and stresses of the moment, I decided to compile a list of some the best psychological movies that I am aware of. These movies can help us see ourselves at a deeper level, help us take a personal inventory of our lives, our relationships, and may help with some personal growth. Please feel free to send me some of your favorites. In the future, I may report on the best scary movies, funny movies, etc.

• The Shining - will we ever forget that menacing image of Jack Nicholson looking through the bathroom door growling "here's Johnny"??
• The Sixth Sense - a great movie, a sensitive portrayal of a child's emotional difficulties, a good portrayal of effective therapy (even though with a paranormal twist); who knew Bruce Willis could so be good in this type of role?
• Ordinary People - another great movie, a must view of a dysfunctional family and the healing process; brilliant acting!
• A Beautiful Mind - amazing story of a brilliant mathemetician and his ordeal with severe mental illness (i.e., schizophrenia).
• Patch Adams - Robin Williams at his best as an extraordinary member of the helping profession; if only we could have him for a doctor!
• Wit - riveting portrayal of a woman dieing of cancer and volunteering as a research subject; fairly intense personality study; a must for health care professionals as well.
• Pieces of April - great acting, family dynamics and relational issues.
• An Unfinished Life - great acting (Robert Redford, Morgan Freeman), deals with redemption, human limitations.
• Golden State - powerful portrayal of human experience, interesting perspective on mental health.
• Once Were Warriors - powerful handling of resiliance, redemption, meaning and domestic violence.
• House of Sand and Fog - great acting, deals with relationships, family, honor, and meaning.
• American Beauty - quirky portrayal of a dysfunctional family in middle America, entertaining, Kevin Spacey at his best.
• One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - a classic, examines coping in a mental hospital environment, Jack Nicholson at his best.
• Pleasantville - charming handling of social ostracism, conformity, and choice.
• Good Will Hunting - excellent handling of relationships, trust, and therapy issues.
• Maze - deals with a man suffering with Tourette's disorder, and the struggles he goes through.
• Girl Interrupted - entertaining interplay of the characters - teenage girls in a mental hospital, trust, and caring.
• The Crossing Guard - examines the way people approach grieving and reconciliation, great cast.
• My Life Without Me - explored one woman's journey after finding out she's going to die; very good cast.
• Grand Canyon - thoughtful movie, puts humans in perspective in the context of the universe.
• Antwone Fisher - a story of healing, building trust, and therapeutic growth.
• Sylvia - great portrayal of a woman's struggle with pain, sorrow and death (Gwyneth Paltrow).
• The Shawshank Redemption - very powerful, issues of incarceration, freedom, meaning and healing.

There are a number of other important films that belong here as well. This is a partial list that may stimulate some interest. I hope others can add to this list with their favorites. Send me a reply. If you haven't seen all of these, check them out at:

Panic attacks - help!!

A panic attack is one of the most difficult of psychological problems. It can strike at a moment's notice, totally overwhelm us, and can be quite dangerous - especially if one occurs while driving - which is quite common. Panic attacks are characterized by the sudden onset of intense apprehension, fear, or terror, and are often associated with feelings of impending doom. Common symptoms are shortness of breath, palpitations, choking or smothering sensations, chest pain or discomfort, dizziness, feelings of unreality, hot and cold flashes, tingling in the hands or feet, among others. Wow, sounds horrible doesn't it? It's basically like a full-on, adrenalin pumping, flight or fight response.

Is it any wonder that individuals suffering such an attack may feel like he/she is dying, going crazy, or is completely "losing it". Obviously no one is trained to deal with such overwhelming emotions. Our emergency rooms are frequented by people experiencing such symptoms. Here's a common scenario. A man in his 40s is rushed to the hospital. He is sweating, his heart is racing, and he can't catch his breath. He and his wife are convinced that he's experiencing a heart attack. Fortunately the ER doctor finds that his heart is O.K. What he's having, he is told, is a panic attack. These attacks are a symptom of panic disorder , a type of anxiety disorder that is reported to affect over 2 million U.S. adults.

Panic disorder usually begins in the late teens or early adulthood. It is not clear what the actual cause is, but researchers suspect a combination of biological and environmental factors. These include family history, stessful life events, and drug and alcohol abuse. Panic attacks are especially upsetting as they can occur anytime and anywhere. You may be walking down the street, eating out with friends, or grocery shopping. Over time, many who suffer from panic attacks develop an ongoing fear of having another attack. Thus the problem often becomes worse over time.

Fortunately, there are effective treatment programs available. I have researched this area and suggest that you look into the following effective resources:
Click Here!and Click Here!
I am sure that you will find these very helpful.

Parenting - are you ready for it?

Being a good parent can be one of the most challenging tasks of our life. It's not really something that we are trained for. At least I don't remember a course called "Parenting 101" in my high school or college. How about you? We are just expected to know what we're doing as soon as the little one arrives. We are all in for a rude awakening!! Babies can be an enormous challenge!! Try this on for size. When I was a graduate student in psychology my first child came along - how did that happen I thought? My daughter turned out to have fairly severe food allergies and was allergic to every formula on the market. Her pediatrician was at a loss what to do, and my wife was unable to breast feed. Since my wife was also a juvenile diabetic and was unable to stay up half the night caring for the baby, guess who got the job?

On top of all of that, my child's food intolerance stayed severe until about 10 months of age. I was in for a crash course on projectile vomiting, dealing with a screaming baby much of the night, walking the baby all night, etc. And then I was off to class! I was definitely not prepared for this!! It's a miracle I graduated with my degree two years later.

We never know what to expect when our first child comes along. Will he/she be completely normal or present some special challenges? We want to give the child all our love, but at the same time provide the structure and discipline we have been told is so necessary. Finding the right balance for all of this can again be quite a challenge.

First-time parents have a special challenge. The mother is expected to be the perfect parent, the loving mother, the all-knowing, all-seeing expert. And yet, in most cases, we may be completely unprepared for this task. My goodness, where do all of these expectations come from? How do we suddenly transform from a somewhat immature adolescent or young adult to the all-knowing expert? Obviously we don't! We have to do our best, talk to our friends and family, search out good articles on the subject and hope we are doing something right. For concerned parents I suggest that you refer to this excellent resource: CLICK HERE

Quote for the day

It's always good to have a few funny or inspiring thoughts for your day.


Always acknowledge a fault. This will
throw those in authority off their guard
and give you the opportunity to
commit more.

Mark Twain

From the moment I picked up your
book until I laid it down, I was
convulsed with laughter. Someday
I intend reading it.

Groucho Marx

Do what you feel in your heart to be right –
for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be
damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be
fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-
lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path.
You know you will never get to the end of the journey.
But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the
joy and glory of the climb.

Sir Winston Churchill

Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting
a particular way…you become just by performing
just actions, temperate by performing temperate
actions, brave by performing brave actions.

Aristotle

Some national parks have long waiting lists for
camping reservations. When you have to wait a
year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

George Carlin

Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime
seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with
self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience
that shall explain and overlook the old.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I cannot think well of a man who sports with
any woman’s feelings, and there may often be
a great deal more suffered than a stander-by
can judge of.

Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

Minds, like bodies, will often fall into a
pimpled, ill- conditioned state from mere
excess of comfort.

Charles Dickens

Now go out there and have a great day!!

ADHD - does your child have it?

ADHD, or attention deficit disorder with hyperactivity, is characterized by signs of inappropriate inattention and impulsivity. The three main categories recognized by the American Psychiatric Association are: 1)predominantly inattentive type, 2)predominantly hyperactive/impulsive type, and 3)combined type, which is the most common. With the inattentive type, the problem may not be evident, as the child may be fairly calm and not overactive. But he or she may still have the typical symptoms of short attention span, distractibility and inability to focus on tasks. Thus the child may have the same challenges at school and be unable to function well in that environment. Since children with this problem often go untreated, they may experience failure all through school, even though they may be trying their best. They may simply conclude that they are stupid and unable to learn. A warning sign to the parent is that the child may often seem to be ignoring you, or, to have forgotten what you told them to do only a few minutes before. When you ask them "what did I just tell you to do?" they may sincerely respond "what do you mean?", or, "I guess I didn't hear you".

The second two types are typically quite evident due to the children's tendency to get into trouble on a daily basis. This type of child often acts before thinking, calls out or is often out of his seat, runs around as if "running like a motor", fidgets excessively, and may need nearly constant supervision. These children often are referred for special attention by their teachers as soon as they begin school. The onset of their behavioral symptoms may be much earlier, though (often by 3 years of age). Parents are often uncertain if their child has ADHD. The child may simply be displaying a tendency to be overactive. A good hint here is that the child without ADHD will not have the haphazard and poorly organized quality typical of the child with ADHD.

It is important that we, as parents, take the time to carefully observe our children and see if their behavior falls within the normal range of overactivity, or, may fall into the range of ADHD. If treatment is sought out at an early age, many of the resulting problems of low self-esteem, frequent failure in school, ostracism by the other kids at school, and difficulty making or keeping friends can be minimized. It is thus a good idea to err on the side of caution and speak to your pediatrician about the behavior you have observed. It is often helpful to speak to your child's pre-school teacher, or those working with your child in a daycare setting. Their observations can help you decide if it is time to look into the issue further.

If you desire to get additional information, or, if your child has been diagnosed with ADHD: CLICK HERE

Loneliness can be difficult

Loneliness is defined as "an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation". One can have a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from others. The lonely person may find it difficult or impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact.

More commonly, though, we all occasionally experience loneliness. We may feel that we don't have enough friends, we may go though a life change (e.g., a breakup, divorce, job change, or move to a new location) that can result in considerable loneliness until we have found ways to develop a decent support group once again.

Here are some suggestions on dealing with loneliness. First, realize that we all get lonely. It doesn't mean that something is wrong with us. It helps to make a point of calling others, getting together with family or friends, even if they aren't your favorite people. Also, be sure to get involved in local activities, clubs, church, etc. If you are particularly shy, a support group can be a big help. You can check for local activities and groups in your local newspaper or with sources like Craig's List. It is good to take more initiative in striking up conversations with others. Also, it is good to take risks on revealing yourself and saying what's on your mind. There's always a risk of alienating others in this way, but the risk is worth it!

It's important not to allow your loneliness to develop into more significant problems, such as depression. Keep active, take a walk, go play some tennis, whatever! Online chat rooms and contacts can be good up to a point, but there can be some risk here of becoming rather addicted to these websites, so take some care here.

Occasionally it is good to do everything you would normally do if you were with a partner or friend. Go out to eat, to a football game, take in a movie, etc. Take yourself out on a date! Many times it is the activity we are missing just as much as the company.

In this day and age of a success-oriented, hard-pushing society, it is very common to be alone or to feel lonely. It seems to be part of the human condition. Often we are too busy to even realize that we have distanced ourselves from others and that we don't have many, or any, special relationships. Who has the time to develop and nurture close friendships anymore? Sound familiar? If so, or if you just want to learn more on the subject, here is an excellent resource to help you learn to deal
with and solve problems with loneliness: CLICK HERE

Online dating - pros & cons

Online dating definitely has it's pros and cons. It can be full of pitfalls, wrong turns, and disappointments. We are bombarded with TV ads, e-mails, and internet ads touting this dating service or that. Beautiful and sexy women, or, available, virile, handsome men are placed on the ads, giving each of us an unrealistic idea of what's in store for us. We are told that each service has great success and that once you join you will soon find your "soul mate" and live "happily ever after". The TV ads seem especially well done and seductive, and suggest that happiness is a phone call away. Is it any wonder that we may be open to a major disappointment.

As online dating has become extremely common over the past ten years or so, it does have certain advantages over meeting singles in public. First, you can meet / communicate with others from the comfort of your home. You don't have to deal, as much, with the fears and anxieties common with meeting for the first time in public. Also, possible experiences of being ignored, or rejected, or on the other side of the coin, being aggressively pursued by someone you are not interested in, both seem minimized. The internet affords you the benefit of checking things out at your own pace, "testing the waters" as they say, and seeing what feels right to you. You are able to see what other potential partners are looking for, how they express themselves, what their interests are, and so forth. It gives you a great headstart on figuring out if you want to pursue things further.

I think that it's best to provide a lot of candid information about yourself up front. This will allow for a better match and prevent either person from wasting their time pursuing the wrong type of person. State clearly what you are interested in - a long-time relationship, companionship, or simply some fun and excitement. This will make things clear from the start.

If you feel that you have some deeper issues that are preventing you from having a successful relationship, there are many resources to look into. Take a personal inventory and try to get a clearer idea of some of the pitfalls or problems you experienced in your past relationships. This is really a necessary first step in having the opportunity to experience a lasting, rewarding relationship.

Men have some catching up to do in terms of learning to develop lasting and successful relationships. The social pressures to be strong, independent, self-sufficient, etc., can be a bit confusing, when good relationships may require much different personality features (e.g., being understanding, caring, a good listener, etc.). For a good resource for finding more success in relationships: CLICK HERE.

Laughter is good for us

On the lighter side, here's a few humorous/ inspirational thoughts for the day:

Misery comes free.
Joy, fun and laughter
take planning.

C.W. Metcalf


Since I came to the White House,
I got two hearing aids, a colon operation,
skin cancer, a prostate operation, and I
was shot. The damn thing is I've never
felt better in my life.

Ronald Reagan


At my age it's nice to have birthday
parties. All my friends can stand
around the cake and keep warm.

George Burns, at age 90


No pessimist ever discovered
the secrets of the stars, or
sailed to an uncharted land,
or opened a new Heaven to
the human spirit.

Helen Keller


Note: For those interested in a personal journey to self-growth, self-improvement, and self-esteem, check out this resource:
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An international leader in inspirational and self-help publishing, Hay House, is a terrific resource for quality books, self-help training, conferences, etc. Be sure to check them out. CLICK BELOW:

Stress - deal with it or do away with it?

Stress and stress-related disorders are one of the most common problems in our society. Is this any wonder, considering the state of our economy, the meltdown on wall street, the recent loss of people's jobs, homes, and worse, maybe even of hope. The level of fear, uncertainty, and pessimism may be at an all-time high. It is estimated that 5-10 million people in the U.S. suffer from moderate to severe anxiety and anxiety-related disorders (e.g., anxiety attacks, generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, phobic disorders). It is difficult to imagine what that number likely is for milder forms of anxiety under the present circumstances. And even milder forms can result in a myriad of symptoms (e.g., loss of sleep, apprehension, inability to relax, racing heart, rumination, fatigue, and many others). The negative affect that these symptoms can have on our job functioning, relationships, and overall happiness is nearly impossible to imagine.

Experts in the field often suggest that we should make stress work for us, since it is impossible to live a stress-free life. Nearly everyone is worried about providing for their families, keeping food on the table, paying for the mortgage and the high price of gas. And this has now been complicated by the recent financial crisis that our country is currently in. Likely no one is all that confident that they will still have a job in the next several months. Who knows what to expect next? This is definitely going to be trying times for all of us.

Therefore I decided to start a blog on living life in a healthy manner, coping with the stress of our times, and finding ways to reduce or eliminate our psychological stress, worries and depression. I thus hope to provide a helpful service to my fellow citizens and do some marketing at the same time. I have recently come across a very interesting resource for the elimination of moderate to severe anxiety and panic attacks. For anyone suffering from these issues, please refer to this resource:

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